When Alina arrived for our first session, she was burnt out – shut down, irritated, and desperate – but unable to move beyond one phrase: “I’m not okay”
She couldn’t describe what she felt in her body or name an emotion. Everything felt like “too much.” Her irritation was really frustration with herself.
Some of the most striking symptoms of burnout I see in my clients are a loss of emotional awareness, body awareness, and relational sensitivity. It’s as though they’re carrying a great weight up a mountain – unable to pause or even question why it must be carried. They often tell me they “have no choice but to keep going.”
Neuroscience explains why. MRI studies show that burnout is linked to decreased activity and gray-matter volume in the anterior insula.When the insula goes quiet, people lose access to the data their bodies and emotions normally provide. The result is a reduced capacity for empathy, creativity, and other relational skills that depend on emotional attunement.
⏰ And this is also why the usual strategies prescribed for burnout often don’t work – at least not at first.When the system is depleted, the brain conserves energy by narrowing its focus. The prefrontal cortex, which supports reflection, choice, and flexible thinking, goes partially offline while survival circuits take over. In that state, the mind loses access to creativity, curiosity, and exploration.
Even the idea of rest feels impossible. The inner dialogue sounds like: “I can’t stop. I just have to keep going.”
Because even stopping, delegating, or pausing feels like too much effort for an already taxed system – it’s easier to keep pushing past depletion.
I have also found that often there are also highly intelligent unconscious contracts made for survival long ago at play here.
As we co-regulated – through simple accompaniment and the practice of being with what is in our sessions – her baseline began to shift.
Her mind, frozen in survival mode, began to move again – first through feeling, then through image. This was the beginning of the insula and prefrontal cortex re-engaging, the return of creativity.
As our sessions progressed, she began bringing in metaphors. Her desire for joy and play emerged naturally.
In the last session, she let go of two commitments that had been draining her energy and joy.
She said, “My family is my biggest color. I want to connect with them through joy again. I want to experience their joy – not just be around them, but actually feel it together. I want to be present with them – to laugh, to play, to create small moments of joy together.”
This is returning to Aliveness.